A little pessimism to start…

modern_relationship

Among other things (writing, coffee, and the latest great horror TV show) sex and love are some of my favorite things to talk about. They always say to take the horse by the reins, and is there a better controversy to bring up in my first blog post? – I mean I could bring up my über liberal values or gay marriage or something…

…but in the past I’ve found a lot of people find my views on love and sex unorthodox for one simple reason.

I don’t believe in it.

I just can’t grasp the concept of putting much trust in someone. To actually believe that one person will have a secure and ever-lasting position in your life is just  ignorant. No one knows what’s going to happen; no one knows how people will change. Life is complicated enough as it is. We make it so much harder by focusing on our need for eternal companionship.

Plus, I am way too ambitious, unstable and chaotic to think that one person will follow me through my whole life.

I get that you’re supposed to trust your significant other. You need to rely on them throughout the trials of life, and that’s the whole point of a relationship in the first place. That’s great and all, and it might work for some people, but I can’t even trust myself to stay away from Taco Bell for an extended period of time, much less have decent judgment on a life partner.

“A wise girl kisses but don’t love, listens but doesn’t believe and leaves before she is left.”

Marilyn Monroe had it right. If we don’t guard our hearts then who’s to say they won’t get ripped to shreds, leaving nothing but our eager minds and feeble thoughts. The only way to save ourselves from falling victim to the crimes of “love” is to take charge of ourselves.

If we look at that in relation to sex, if we keep our hearts and our minds locked away, we can do whatever we want with our bodies. We’ve unlocked the ultimate weapon.

I’ve come to realize that I am not my sexuality, and sex does not equate to love. I used to get caught up in the thoughts and emotions behind it. I wanted everything to be perfect; I wanted him to feel the same way I felt; I wanted to be respected, cherished and loved. Sex is totally different. Sex and love are not synonymous. You have control over your body; you don’t necessarily control your heart.

If you’re taking my advice, I’d say don’t bother with love. Once you realize that permanent love is an imaginary figment of the disgustingly optimistic petal-pushers of this generation, you see how much you can accomplish for yourself.

Take it from Marilyn. Wild hearts can never be broken.

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